モンスターカレンダー

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浪人時代の挫折ー後編

新聞配達は基本自転車にまたがって、一軒一軒配達します。

慣れてくると、自分なりのルートができます。


とにかく、早く終わって・・・
温かいお味噌汁と、ごはん、お魚・・・・・新聞店舗の賄いさんが作ってくれてました。
朝ご飯がこんなにおいしいと、感じたのもこの頃です。




でも、トラブルが次々と。

当時は、アパートの部屋まで、新聞を配っていました。
ある日、アパートの一室の新聞がたまってたので、「どこか、旅行でも・・・」

でも、

ある時、夕刊を配っていたら、パトカーと、警官がそのアパートに・・・・
結局、その部屋で、亡くなられてたようで・・・
次の日の朝、自分の足音に、ビビりながら、配達してたのを、思い出します。

そのほかにも、

いないはずの、犬が突然、吠えたり。
雨で新聞がぐちゃぐちゃになったり。
入れ忘れて、お客さんに怒られたり。
新聞休刊日以外は、休めなく、本当に早く寝て、起きての毎日でした。

予備校では相変わらず、寝てばかりでした。

時間が無いということに、とても焦りを感じた気がします。


初めてのひとり暮らしの中で、

本来やるべきことを、見失っていた気がします。

「来春、大学に行くために、浪人したのに・・・・一体、俺は何してるんだろう??」


結局、3ヶ月あまりで、実家に戻って、勉学に勤しんで、の生活に戻りました。

その時にお世話になった、店舗の店長さん、先輩方、賄いのおばさん、同僚たち・・・
いろんな方々に励まされながらも、

挫折しました。

あの頃のシーンはいまだに、脳裏に焼き付いています。

その町の近くに行くと・・・・・胸がキュンと、なります。


でも、失敗や失望が、今の自分のパワーになっているのも、事実です。
チャレンジ精神は、いつまでも持ち続けたいものです。

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